This article lists the various minor fictional characters who appear in the short fiction of Laura Frankos. These characters are identified by name or profession, but play at best a peripheral role in their respective stories. Most were simply mentioned or had a very brief, unimportant speaking role that did not impact the plot, and never appeared again.
Note: All characters from "Slue-Foot Sue and the Witch in the Woods" are adapted from other works.
- 1 "A Beak for Trends"
- 2 "The Garden Gnome Freedom Front"
- 3 "The Great White Way"
- 4 "Hoofer"
- 5 "A Late Symmer Night's Battle"
- 6 "Leg Irons, the Bitch and the Wardrobe"
- 7 "Merchants of Discord"
- 8 "Natural Selection"
- 9 "The Njuggle"
- 10 "The Old Grind"
- 11 "One Touch of Hippolyta"
- 12 "The Sea Mother's Gift"
- 13 References
Barbara Hatcher was the wife of Benjamin Hatcher. Because she had allergies, Benjamin kept Ptolemy III, his late grandmother's scarlet macaw, at his office. When he learned that Ptolemy could read and could make accurate stock predictions, Benjamin started spending more time at the office. Barbara accused Benjamin of cheating. After a year of this new schedule, Benjamin died of a heart attack.
Ed Ledbetter was the husband of Cindy Ledbetter. He not happy that Cindy took in her grandmother's scarlet macaw, Ptolemy III, as Cindy had moved his gun rack to fit Ptolemy's cage. However, once allowance checks came in, he was less inclined to complain.
Mitch Ledbetter was one of the children of Cindy and Ed Ledbetter. When the family took in Ptolemy III the scarlet macaw, Mitch and his sibling were supposed to bathe him, but they were not diligent, especially after Mitch pulled on Ptolemy's tail, and Ptolemy bit him in response.
Kathy Plotkin's Daughter
Kathy Plotkin's daughter was a kind-hearted 17-year-old who aspired to be a veterinarian. She tended to Ptolemy III the scarlet macaw the first night he stayed with at her home. However, she went to a friend's house that night, and so her mother tended to the bird the first thing the morning, inadvertently killing it.
Claude was a reporter for the Saint-Clément Chronicle. In 1996, he reported on garden gnome thefts in the Rouen metro area, and sent an early copy to his cousin Becca Milleron. Thinking Becca would be interested because she had drawn a locally famous painting of a gnome, Claude was unaware that Becca was one of the thieves.
Madame d'Aulnoy was a resident of Saint-Clément, Normandy, who owned a garden gnome named Vaclav. She fussed over him, singing to him and giving him mugs of ale, dishes of cream, and tasty tidbits, though he could only enjoy them once a month. Vaclav was devoted to her, and thus refused the Garden Gnome Freedom Front's offer of "liberation."
Denis was a hunky student who lived down the hall from the Garden Gnome Freedom Front. Alizon Riand hoped Denis would not be alarmed by the sound of garden gnomes apparently having a drunken orgy in the girls' flat.
Georges was a very old man who lived in Saint-Clément, Normandy and owned a garden gnome named Hans. Georges maintained his garden with great care, talking to Hans during this activity. He painted Hans every winter and washed him every day. Every winter solstice, Georges said, "So, Hans, we live to see yet another spring," sitting on an oak bench and drinking cognac. Hans declared that he would never desert Georges, though he might like to travel through Europe after Georges died.
Jiri was a garden gnome who "lived" in Saint-Clément, Normandy, in the 20th century. He was of Czechoslovakian manufacture and spoke Czech first, French second. Gretchen was his wife, and they lived next door to Vaclav. In 1995, Jiri was tragically dropped on the pavement and shattered.
Danni was an actress in a very poorly written television sitcom, which was being filmed in the Los Angeles area. She briefly dated computer game creator Brent Birley before dumping him cruelly. Trina Hutchinson, who was angry at the heartless Danni, was pleased when saner heads prevailed at the studio, and the dreadful sitcom was cancelled.
Patrick McCoy was the brother of Dr. Bill McCoy. Both brothers were avid Lakers fans, and would often go to games where Shaquille O'Neal was playing. Eventually, Bill began telling phony stories about Patrick and the Lakers to his wife Trina Hutchinson, as an alibi for his adulteries with Andrea.
Captain Throstle was an officer in Faerie's army. He was dating the female soldier Moth, and it was hoped that they would be married soon. Throstle was guarding King Oberon and Queen Titania on their second honeymoon when the kobolds struck the homeland.
Throstle is an Old English name for the thrush, a type of bird. While this character has no analog in A Midsummer Night's Dream, his name may be an allusion to Nick Bottom's silly song from Act 3, Scene 1, which names several bird types, including the throstle.
Benasbiee was a Leffingite actress and singer. She played opposite Jeclyn in Prosciutto and Away We Go. In the latter play, she played the baron's daughter. This role was originally written for Princess Louizza, before it was deemed that Louizza's comedic talent was better suited to play the lady-in-waiting.
Creek son of Attkins
Creek son of Attkins was a leading drama critic in the Kingdom of Leffing, and a judge for the Perrie Awards. He gave very negative reviews for four of Cammek's five latest CKDF plays. However, he wholeheartedly approved of Tip-lea-pon's new play-writing format of musical comedy, first demonstrated in Away We Go.
Ghoti was a well-respected playwright. Anyone in a theatrical occupation would own a complete set of Ghoti's plays.
Father Abbot Jorj is named for playwright George Abbot (1887-1995), arguably best known for Damn Yankees.
A merman was a friend of Prince Harrold. The merman had a big brassy voice, and the prince hoped he could star in a musical play based on one of their country's many sea legends. The prince did not have much faith in the merman's ability to carry a non-musical play.
Matugenus was a Briton potter living in the settlement outside Brocolitia. He attended the first market where Secundinius, Brocco, Tertullus, and Flavius Antigonus Papias set up their respective wagons. He was threatened by Secundinius' pots, and joked with Brocco, a fellow Briton, about destroying them. Tancorix, the wife of decurion Quintus Vestinus Corvus and herself a Briton, overheard their comments, and translated for her husband.
After Secundinius was murdered, Matugenus became Brocco's alibi, as Brocco freely admitted he and Matugenus had met after market and schemed to smash Secundinius' pots.
Pluma was a prostitute in the settlement outside of Brocolitia. The African merchant Tertullus decided to curse his rival merchant, Secundinius, while they were in Brocolita. He spent his first nights Brocolitia with Pluma. She told him about Belatucadrus, a local god who was rather obscure. Believing that a more obscure god would be likely to curse Secundinius, Tertullus created a curse tablet and placed it in Belatucadrus' shrine the next night. Secundinius caught Tertullus, who stabbed Secundinius to death. Tertullus then visited Pluma, and left his bloody cloak. Pluma kept it, and Tertullus though himself in the clear. However, the decurion of Brocolita, Quintus Vestinus Corvus, was too dogged to let the matter go, and collected the cloak from Pluma, along with other evidence, and arrested Tertullus.
Publius Rubrius was a centurion at Brocolitia at the Wall. A heavy drinker, he went to market to purchase wine from Secundinius the Gaul. By coincidence, Tancorix, wife of Quintus Vestinus Corvus, the decurion of Brocolitia, was also present. Tancorix was a Briton. Secundinus had no love for the Britons, and pointedly attempted to sell to Publius Rubrius first, just as Quintus Vestinus Corvus arrived. Before Corvus could erupt, PUblius Rubrius explained just who Tancroix was and commanded Secundinius to sell her wine first. Upon hearing this, Secundinius promptly sold Tancroix his best wine jugs.
Tipli the Humble
Donald and his brothers Magnus and Johnny lived in Shetland. They were deep-sea fishermen, working for their uncle Einar Haruldsoun, and his sons. In 1875, a storm killed Einar's eldest sons (Magnus' cousins) and badly injured his grandfather, Olav Larsen. Einar's remaining son, Rasmus, began fishing with the family.
Donald, like Johnny, showed respect for Olav's knowledge of folklore, although he was taciturn in general. Magnus was overtly skeptical; Johnny boxed Magnus' ears when they were alone to insure Magnus was respectful.
Andrew Grott was a childhood friend of Olav Larsen's. One evening, while they were on the road to Loch Brekkan, they came across a pony that appeared abruptly. Grott approached it without a second thought, whereas Larsen was suspicious, especially when it saw the malice in the pony's eyes. Larsen tried to warn Grott to leave the pony, but Grott didn't listen, and mounted it. The pony was in fact a Njuggle. It immediately ran to the Loch with Grott on its back and went in. Grott drowned; his body was recovered the next day. From then on, Larsen carried an iron charm designed to ward off the Njuggle, and told everyone he met about Grott's death.
Johnny and his brothers Magnus and Donald lived in Shetland. They were deep-sea fishermen, working for their uncle Einar Haruldsoun, and his sons. In 1875, a storm killed Einar's eldest sons (Magnus' cousins) and badly injured his grandfather, Olav Larsen. Einar's remaining son, Rasmus, began fishing with the family.
Johnny, like Donald, showed respect for Olav's knowledge of folklore. Magnus was overtly skeptical; Johnny boxed Magnus' ears when they were alone to insure Magnus was respectful.
Sinnie was an aunt of Rasmus Haruldsoun. In July 1876, Rasmus' mother sent him to Sinnie's house to get cough liquor for his grandfather, Olav Larsen. Rasmus cousin Magnus, joined him on the trip.
Tostig of Kiepfea Hill
Aip was an Orcadian woman who married the rancher Dett in 1159 BC, after both their spouses had perished in the plagues resulting from the Day of Darkness. Aip had a son who admired his new stepbrother and role model Fummirrul. In 1158 BC, she welcomed Gefalal, beloved of Fummirrul, into the family.
The son of Aip took well to his new stepfather Dett in 1158 BC. He particularly hero-worshiped his stepbrother Fummirrul. The young boy brought his stepfather news of the shipwreck which killed Talloc, Klebaw, and Nerrul.
Dett's father was an elder of their Orcadian village. Despite their advanced age, Father and his brother Talloc were still capable of going on fishing and trading voyages to the Great Island. In 1158 BC, Dett, who had been given prophetic dreams from the Seafolk for the past two years, reported that his latest dream told him that the monster Klevey was departing, ending the reign of terror. Dett's father and the council agreed that this only portended good omens.
Telley was a very old man from Dett's village, who was known for seeing disaster everywhere and omens in every least little thing. He apparently had been dead for some time before the Day of Darkness came. After Dett had his first of many dream-like encounters with Klevey, Dett wished that he were a foolish hypochondriac like Telley, so that his premonitions could be dismissed so easily.
- Alien Pregnant by Elvis, pg. 131, mmp.
- Ibid., pg. 134.
- Ibid., pg. 136-139, mmp.
- Ibid., pg. 136, mmp.
- Ibid, pg. 137, mmp.
- Ibid., pg. 138-139, mmp.
- The Enchanter Completed, p. 329.
- Ibid., p. 347.
- Ibid., p. 346.
- Ibid., pgs. 339, 345.
- Chicks 'n' Chained Males, pgs. 146, 149.
- Ibid., pgs. 151-152.
- Ibid., pgs. 153-154.
- Ibid., p. 139.
- Ibid., p. 139, 153.
- Ibid., p. 153.
- Crime through Time III, pg. 34, mmp.
- Ibid., pg. 39-40.
- Ibid., pgs. 29-32, mmp.
- Crime through Time III, pg. 33, mmp.
- Ibid., pg. 34.
- Orphans of the Night, pg. 11-12, HC.
- Ibid., pgs. 12-13.
- Orphans of the Night, pg. 15, HC.
- Orphans of the Night, pg. 11-12, HC.
- Ibid., pgs. 12-13.
- Orphans of the Night, pg. 16, HC.
- Ibid., pgs. 16-20.
- Chicks in Chainmail, p. 207.
- Ibid., p. 204.
- Ibid., p. 209.
- Chicks in Chainmail, pg. 204; Chicks Ahoy!, pg. 179.
- The First Heroes, pgs. 313-315.
- Ibid., pgs. 313-315.
- Ibid., p. 314. The father is also referenced fleetingly at other points in the story.
- Ibid., pgs. 300-301.