This article lists the various minor fictional characters who appear in Every Inch a King. These characters play, at best, a peripheral role in the novel. While they were usually given a name, some weren't. Most were simply mentioned or had a very brief, unimportant speaking role that did not impact the plot, and never appeared again.
Hans Eliphalet Andersen[]
Hans Eliphalet Andersen was a popular author of stories which involved frightening-looking witches.[1]
Literary comment[]
Hans Eliphalet Andersen is based on Hans Christian Andersen.
Annaluisa[]
Annaluisa was an old flame of Otto of Schlepsig. She was from the northern part of Torino. As his knowledge of the language came from her, his accent stood out in southern Torino, when he fled there following the downfall of his "kingdom" in Shqiperi.[2]
Audacious Narbonese politician[]
A politician from Narbonensis in ages past, was remembered for his slogan "Audacity. Audacity again. Always audacity." Despite his aggressive personality, he managed to get his head bitten off a few years later.[3]
Bayezid[]
Bayezid, a lean, weathered Hassocki, was the harbormaster of Thasos, Lokris. He informed Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte that there were no ships sailing from Thasos to Fushe-Kuqe, Shqiperi, but they could take a ship from Thasos to Lakedaimon and thence to Fushe-Kuqe.
Otto had an unconfirmed suspicion that Bayezid had been a pirate.
Bopip[]
Bopip was a shepherd in the region of Peshkepiia. He was engaged in a heated sheep-count with gate guards, who were so engaged that they didn't notice Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte sneaking out of the city after the fall of Otto's "kingdom."[4]
Cadogan[]
Cadogan[5] was the lion tamer of Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. He was perhaps too good at his job, and he mad it look so easy, that there was no suspense in it. True lion-taming drama required a sense that the man was really in danger. Cadogan could be melancholy at times, fearing that he had no life outside the circus.
Cark[]
Cark was one of the owners of Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. He was from one of the wilder provinces of the Dual Monarchy. His native tongue was one which no other person in the circus could speak.
Cat[]
When Otto of Schlepsig, who sought the kingship of Shqiperi, tasted a dragon's blood on a royal hunting party, he obtained the power to obtain animal speech. When he returned to the hunting lodge, a cat, one of several semi-strays who lived there, stared at Otto and said "Call you a king? Ha! Not likely!" Otto heaved a boot at it, knowing that while a cat may look upon a king, the proverb said nothing about badmouthing.[6]
Chambers[]
An Albionese man named Chambers invented a special kind of thundermug, and got his name permanently attached to it in the public consciousness. Chambers pots were popular from Caledonia to Vyzance and beyond.[7]
Corvo[]
Baron Corvo was the Torinan ambassador to Shqiperi. He was a very effeminate man, but no one believed he was a homosexual, due to the copious bastards he sired.[8]
Dooger[]
Dooger was one of the owners of Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. He could speak every language in the world, but gave each one the same weird accent. He had a somewhat morbid sense of humor.[9]
Enver[]
Enver assisted Hoxha as proprietor of the Metropolis hostel in Peshkepiia. He appeared (to Otto of Schlepsig) to be Hoxha's son, looking like a younger, thinner version of the same man.
Old Forkbeard[]
Old Forkbeard was a nickname of the Grand High Admiral of Schlepsig. Despite commanding scores of ships of the line and frigates, he was not in the habit of fancy dress-uniform displays.[10]
Funes[]
Funes was a memorious man in an obscure circus troupe which Otto of Schlepsig had once been in. He taught Otto some basic mnemonic tricks, which became handy years later in dealing with the Royal Harem of Shqiperi.[11]
Literary comment[]
Funes is based on an Argentinian short story.
Giuseppe[]
See Ibrahim the Wise.
Grim Brethren[]
The Grim Brethren wrote popular stories which involved frightening-looking witches.[12]
Literary comment[]
The Grim Brethren are based on the Brothers Grimm.
Gull and sandpiper[]
As Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte prepared to embark on Hysni's fishing boat from Shqiperi across the Tiberian Sea to Torino, Otto heard a gull talk to a sandpiper. It was because he had ingested dragon blood a few days earlier that he was able to understand their speech. The gull told the sandpiper that he had seen a funny thing, and when the sandpiper asked, the gull clarified that it was a human with two heads. Otto was warned by this intelligence that his old nemeses José-Diego were following him.[13]
Gunther[]
Gunther was the owner of the Circus of Dr. Ola. Although not a doctor as his stage name claimed, he was a good man, and a good boss, in the eyes of Otto of Schlepsig, who signed on with him as an acrobat.[14]
Hoxha[]
Hoxha was the proprietor of the Metropolis hostel in Peshkepiia. He was a fat man with an enormous mustache. He was used to arguing angrily with customers, but when Otto of Schlepsig claimed to be the new king of Shqiperi, Hoxha believed him, and prostrated himself.
Hysni[]
Hysni was a Shqipetari fisherman. Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte paid him take them across the Tiberian Sea to Torino after the downfall of Otto's "kingdom."
Ibrahim the Wise[]
Giuseppe ("Joe"), a Torinan demon conjurer, performed with Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels under the stage name Ibrahim the Wise, affecting a Hassocki persona. He was a fat little man who smoked hashish. Otto of Schlepsig feared that the clumsy, dull-witted Joe would summon a water elemental and drown everyone.[15]
In his act, Ibrahim summoned a demon which resembled a golden-winged monkey-griffin, twice as tall as a man and roaring like a lost soul. The demon's tongue snatched the hat from a fat wealthy Lokrian in the audience. While the man's countrymen were sympathetic, the nearby Hassockis laughed. Ibrahim was able to demanifest the demon before any damage happened.
Ilona[]
Ilona was a Yagmarian bareback rider who performed with mammoths and unicorns in Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. Her beauty was matched by her athleticism, her fiery temper, and her sexual prowess. An exceedingly sexy pin-up of her was used as the circus' main poster. Not being a virgin, her role with a unicorn was limited to bouncing around and doing flips on the beast, as there was no way she could ride it properly.
Not much about Ilona's past was known, beyond that she had been jailed for vagrancy at some point. Typically for the circus, her announcement contained the false implication that she was closely acquainted with royalty.
Otto of Schlepsig had often been an object of Ilona's ire, due to his extreme forwardness. However, when he announced that he was leaving the circus as they toured Thasos, Lokris, Ilona gave him her sexual favors as a parting gift. Otto imagined that she had done the same for his traveling partner Max of Witte.
Papa Ioannakis[]
Papa Ioannakis was a Lokrian priest who led resistance to the occupying Hassocki, and was martyred. He remained a hero to succeeding generations of Lokrians.[16]
Jane[]
Jane was the second wife of Otto of Schlepsig. She and her successor Trudi agreed on only one thing - that Otto was a brainless fool.[17]
Käthe of Schlepsig[]
Käthe was a crossbow sharpshooter in the Circus of Dr. Ola. She was possibly the most precise shooter in the world. Once, she had even shot a lit cigar out of the mouth of the King of Schlepsig. She met Otto of Schlepsig after he returned from his short reign as king of Shqiperi. They were married and had a son and two daughters.[18]
Literary comment[]
Käthe's accomplishment is based on an apocryphal story about Annie Oakley shooting a lit cigar out of the mouth of the future German Emperor Wilhelm II. However, to be a full Oakley analog, Käthe would have to be from Vespucciland.
Atabeg Kemal[]
In the chaos which gripped the Hassockian Empire after the War of the Kingdoms, a man named Kemal took over the government and proclaimed himself Atabeg. Otto of Schlepsig believed this was probably not the same Colonel Kemal he had met in Shqiperi.
Literary comment[]
Kemal is based on President Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, founder of the Republic of Turkey.
Colonel Kemal[]
Colonel Kemal was one of Essad Pasha's army officers. The Pasha sent Kemal and Major Mustafa to meet with Otto of Schlepsig (King Halim Eddin to them) and determine why the news from Vyzance cast doubt upon his identity.
Lokrian vampire[]
A vampire from Lokris booked passage on the Gamemeno, being brought on board at Skilitsi. One night, he attempted to prey on fellow passengers Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte, standing in the doorway in his ruffled shirt, tailcoat, and cravat like a concert musician. As he could not enter their room without an invitation, he used psychic powers to overcome this obstacle. The two men complied with his demand. The vampire entered the room, only to be overcome by the smell of the garlic which the two men had consumed on their mutton. The vampire fled. Otto and Max put some silver coins in the doorframe, as this metal was likely almost as toxic to vampires as it was to werewolves.[19]
The next morning, Captain Tasos confirmed that the vampire had paid his fare in gold. Otto and Max convinced Tasos to chain the vampire's coffin up for the duration of the voyage, so he wouldn't suck the blood out of other passengers. Tasos agreed, and had members of his crew perform a warding spell on the coffin, and place roses and garlic on it.[20]
The matter became irrelevant when the ship was attacked by a sea serpent. The serpent seized the coffin and swallowed it whole - vampire, chains, roses, garlic, and all.[21]
Ludovic[]
Ludovic was the ringmaster of Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. He performed in a ridiculously gaudy outfit and even sillier mustaches, which was a virtue in the circus. Otto of Schlepsig had to admit that Ludovic was a superior multilinguist.
Manolis[]
Manolis was a tailor in Thasos, Lokris, from whom Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte purchased Hassocki uniforms, in which to present themselves in Shqiperi. He was a giant man, even taller than Max, and made his oaths by Zibeon's forelock. He was a clever manipulator who could jack up prices.
Murad Bey[]
Murad Bey was a Hassocki Army officer under whom Otto of Schlepsig had served in the past. He had a fondness for practical jokes, and had once tricked three officers into thinking they had all got the colonel's courtesan pregnant. Via Consolidated Crystal, Otto called up Murad Bey, who was now a Major in the Ministry of War in Vyzance, to send a crystal to Peshkepiia, letting them know that Halim Eddin (whom Otto sought to impersonate) was on his way.
Mustafa[]
Major Mustafa was one of Essad Pasha's army officers. The Pasha sent Kemal and Colonel Kemal to meet with Otto of Schlepsig (King Halim Eddin to them) and determine why the news from Vyzance cast doubt upon his identity.
Otho[]
Otho was an Emperor of the Aenean Empire. He attempted to build a canal across Lokris, but gave up on it before long.
Otho also tried his hand at being a sprinter, a boxer, and a god. He also notoriously loved his mother.[22]
Literary comment[]
Otho is broadly based on Nero, but shares a name with Nero's indirect successor as Emperor.
Owsley Owlswick[]
Sir Owsley Owlswick was the Albionese ambassador to Shqiperi. He was not as clever as he looked.[23]
Petru the Piercer[]
Petru the Piercer was a famous vampire from Dacia's history.[24]
Literary comment[]
Petru the Piercer may be an analog of Vlad the Impaler.
Potemkin[]
Count Potemkin was the Tverski ambassador to Shqiperi. He had an incredible ability to get drunk swiftly.[25]
When Otto of Schlepsig, in the persona of King Halim Eddin, told off Count Rappaport, Potemkin congratulated the "king" for putting the Eastmarcher in his place. The Tverski spoke fluent Narbonese. Otto was also fluent in this language, however the real Halim was not likely to be so, so Otto insisted on switching to Schlepsigian. Potemkin could speak this, but only with a heavy Tverski accent. Potemkin got down to business, and told Otto that if Shqiperi left Vlachia and Belagora alone, Tver would stay out of the Nekemte Wars.[26] Otto was unimpressed (mainly because Tver and Shqiperi were separated by the entire Nekemte Peninsula), and Potemkin turned more belligerent, and his Schlepsigian became more broken. He boasted that Tverski troops would march into Vyzance, a claim which Otto angrily refuted in Hassocki, a language which, it turned out to Otto's surprise, Potemkin also spoke.[27]
Rexhep[]
Rexhep was the chief eunuch of the Royal Harem of Shqiperi. Unlike the common image of a fat eunuch, he was a very skinny man. He looked mean, and Otto of Schlepsig could not blame him.
Rita[]
Rita was a trapeze artist in the Circus of Dr. Ola. Although she was two feet shorter than the sword swallower Max of Witte, they were otherwise perfect for each other and fell madly in love.[28]
Shenkolle[]
Shenkolle was a woman of Shqiperi, convicted of witchcraft. She was an ugly being, straight out of stories by Hans Eliphalet Andersen or the Grim Brethren, yet had a beautiful, seductive voice. Otto of Schlepsig, acting as King of Shqiperi, allowed her to appeal her sentence to him. Otto and his aide de camp Max of Witte, found her voice nearly irresistible. However, the king's court magician Zogu was immune to her wiles. Zogu pointed out that Shenkolle had buried a cache of Vespucciland shekels in her garden. Finally, Zogu used a truth spell to get her to confess the truth. The king allowed Shenkolle to make restitution to people she had harmed, but warned that if she returned to her wicked ways, she would likely be executed.[29]
Skander[]
Skander was the majordomo of the palace of Peshkepiia.
First troll[]
A six-inch troll laid claim to the "bridge" which Otto of Schlepsig made by throwing a tightrope across a gorge in Shqiperi, on his way to the coast after the fall of his kingdom. Otto was not afraid of being eaten by the troll, but was afraid that it would bite his toes and make him fall off the rope. Otto shook the troll off the rope and into the chasm, and sent Max of Witte on ahead of him. When it came Otto's turn to try crossing again, the troll was back on the "bridge". Remembering a story about goats, Otto told the troll that someone much larger and juicier and tastier was coming next. The troll believed this and let Otto pass. Otto had no idea whether the troll was still guarding the "bridge" years later.[30]
Second troll[]
After encountering one bridge-guarding troll during their flight out of Shqiperi, Otto of Schlepsig and Max of Witte encountered another troll guarding a rickety wooden bridge. Unlike the first troll, this one was enormous, nearly seven feet tall. Max challenged the troll to prove how tough he was, by taking out his sword and swallowing it as he did in Dooger and Cark's Traveling Emporium of Marvels. The troll took the challenge and followed suit. Not having circus training, he cut his throat from the inside out. Otto lamented that Max would now not be able to claim to be the first person to kill himself that way, should a similar accident ever happen. Max would not swallow this sword again until it was thoroughly washed.[31]
Trudi[]
Trudi was the first wife of Otto of Schlepsig. She and her successor Jane agreed on only one thing - that Otto was a brainless fool.[32]
Unnamed Crown Prince of the Dual Monarchy[]
The Crown Prince of the Dual Monarchy was attacked by a Vlach werewolf who tore out his throat. The murder of the prince and wife was the act which touched off the War of the Kingdoms.[33]
Literary comment[]
The Prince is based on Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria.
Unnamed Princess of the Dual Monarchy[]
The Princess who married the heir to the throne had her throat torn out by the same Vlach werewolf who killed her husband.[34]
Literary comment[]
The Princess is based on Sophie, Duchess of Hohenberg.
Unnamed Schlepsigian Hero[]
An ancient Schlepsigian hero, who became the subject of an opera, tasted the blood of a dragon and obtained the understanding of animal speech. Otto of Schlepsig, on a royal dragon hunt in Shqiperi, tested this theory and found it to be accurate.[35]
Literary comment[]
The hero is based on Siegfried.
Unnamed Vlach Werewolf[]
A Vlach werewolf tore out the throat of the heir to the Dual Monarchy throne and his wife. The assassin was then felled by a silver-tipped crossbow. His act touched off the War of the Kingdoms.[36]
Literary comment[]
The lycanthropic assassin is based on Gavrilo Princip.
Unnamed Votary of the Quadrate God[]
When Otto of Schlepsig, in the persona of Halim Eddin, was to be crowned King of Shqiperi, a votary of the Quadrate God presided over the coronation. He had not bathed in nearly a year, and attempted poorly to cover this fact with sandalwood. A boys' choir performed a suitable song, and the votary began to pray, first in Hassocki and then in Geez. The votary seemed to sense that Otto was not who he claimed to be. The votary announced "Five!" and fell into a trance. Being revived with alcohol, the votary said that "Halim" would be a strong king. Then he placed the crown on Otto's head and praised the new king.[37]
Wilhelm the Weed[]
Wilhelm the Weed was a Schlepsigian prince who was chosen by the eastern Powers to be king of Shqiperi. Unlike his predecessor, Otto of Schlepsig, Wilhelm was the royalty which he claimed to be. However, he was a weaker administrator than Otto, and unable to control Governor Essad Pasha. Wilhelm gave up the throne of Shqiperi during the War of the Kingdoms.[38]
Literary comment[]
Wilhelm the Weed is based on Wilhelm zu Wied.
| Royal offices (Fictional Work) | ||
|---|---|---|
| Preceded by Otto of Schlepsig |
King of Shqiperi (Every Inch a King) |
Succeeded by Zogu |
References[]
- ↑ Every Inch a King, pg. 230, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 285, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 161-162, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 265, tpb.
- ↑ While his nationality isn't stated, Cadogan appears to be an Albionese name.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 131, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 143, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 150, tpb.
- ↑ See also Inconsistencies (Every Inch a King).
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pg. 43.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 178-179, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 230, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 279-280, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pgs. 288-289.
- ↑ See Inconsistencies (Every Inch a King)
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pgs. 54-55.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 14, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pgs. 288-289.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 78-80, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 80-83, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 88, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 71-72, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 150, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 79, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 150, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 154-155, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 156-157, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 290, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 230-232, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 272-274, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 275-276, TPB.
- ↑ Ibid., pg. 14, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pg. 291.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pg. 291.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 129-130.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pg. 291.
- ↑ Ibid., pgs. 164-167, tpb.
- ↑ Ibid., TPB, pgs. 291, 293
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