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"Leg Irons, the Bitch and the Wardrobe"  
Chicks n Chained Males
Author Laura Frankos
First Appearance Chicks 'n' Chained Males
Publisher Baen
Collected No
Illustrator Larry Elmore
Genre(s) Fantasy, Comedy
Publication date 1999

"Leg Irons, the Bitch and the Wardrobe" is a short fantasy story by Laura Frankos, published in Chicks 'n' Chained Males (Baen, 1999). It draws heavily from Frankos' knowledge of Broadway history, and the editorial note claims that it contains twenty theatrical allusions.

In the Kingdom of Leffing, theatre director Cammek (the POV) faces a seemingly impossible task: turning King Pennilvath's daughter Princess Louizza into a starring actress in time for the Combined Kingdoms' Dramatic Festival. Louizza's beautiful, strong bodyguard Tip-lea-pon proves to be the joker in the proverbial deck.

Although the title is an obvious pun on C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the story and its character treatments bear no resemblance to anything Lewis wrote.

The story is unusual (but not unique) among the Chicks series for having a man as the POV character.

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