"The Mammyth" Characters

These characters appear in the short work "The Mammyth". Owing to the very simple nature of the piece, they have been placed on a single page.

The Narrator

The narrator told the story of Tundra Dawn's quest for the mammyth. Before he began that tale, he explained that the mammyth was "out there" unless it wasn't. He then began to describe how to find the mammyth, then he realized he was describing how to find another creature, but there was no need to be snarky about it.

He repeated a claim that pictures of a throne made of mammyth ivory could be found in Fallmereyer's tome, Geistkunstgeschichtliche Wissenschaft. The narrator further repeated a rumor that someone removed every image from every copy of the Fallmerayer work; as there were only ever nine copies (eleven with a tail wind), this was not impossible.

He concluded his introduction to the mammyth by retelling the story of an emperor who once wore a robe made from mammyth skin and paraded down the main thoroughfare of his capital, and a little boy who may have said nasty things about the robe.

While the narrator allowed he could go on and on, especially as he was being paid by the word, he realized it was time to tell the tale of Tundra Dawn's quest for the mammyth.

As he related the tale, he made several asides about the plot, acknowledging contrivances and cliches, and begging the reader to roll with the story.

When the trio finally found a mammyth, however, they promptly vanished, as the narrator assured us that the mammyth was a Boojum, you see.

Tundra Dawn, Cleveland, and Ptremendous Tarmigan

Prairie Dawn, the model for Tundra Dawn.

Tundra Dawn was a puppet warrior made of terry cloth and foam rubber. She decided to go on a quest for a mammyth for the ivory and wool she'd harvest. Completing the quest would also allow her to shuck her chainmail shirt. Joining her were her two sidekicks, Cleveland and Tremendous Ptarmigan. Cleveland was fuzzy and blue, and not too bright. Tremendous Ptarmigan (who also spelled it Ptremendous Tarmigan, and sometimes went by TP/PT) was also not terribly bright and had a high-pitched voice, but he was an optimist and could see for great distances.  He claimed his best friend was a mammyth, but no one had ever seen it.

Grover the Monster, the model for Cleveland.

Early on their quest, they came to the city of Metropolis, the capital of a kingdom on the tundra. It was surrounded by an eerie canal inhabited by ghosts. The city itself was waiting for the adventurers to arrive and get on with things. They were given entry by a gate guard, who recommended they use the Metro.

Big Bird, the model for Tremendous Ptarmigan.

As a Metro station was next to the city gate, the three were able to quickly board (helping to bypass exposition) after paying first the Metrognome then one of the trolls who pulled the train. The train passed several stations, including Avenue J, Lois Lane and Avenue Q (which prompted Cleveland to start double-clicking, even though they were supposed to be in a family story). They got off at the palace and were immediately brought before King Wolcott (even though the narrator admitted that could only happen in a fantasy story).

After looking them over, Wolcott asked them why they were there. Cleveland explained they were hunting for mammyth's before Tundra could stop him. Then TP/PT asked to used the big bird's room. After he getting directions, he left the throne room, and the others were forced to make small talk with the king for half an hour. When TP/PT returned, Wolcott, wanting to be rid of them, asked how he could help. After some dickering, Wolcott agreed to provide them with food, horses, and even some cash.

A couple of days out from the palace, TP/PT suddenly informed his companions that he'd had a nice conversation with a mammyth residing in the palace restroom. When Tundra confronted TP/PT about why he hadn't said anything, TP/PT reminded them that the king had said mammyths weren't common in throne rooms. Tundra let it go.

TP/PT further explained that the mammyth had warned him about the one from fit the eighth. When Cleveland remarked that the Baker could tell them what it meant, TP/PT didn't understand, and then the two wound up confusing each other.

They encountered cheeseheads on the tundra, bleating "Faa-aar-vv" as they looked for tailgates. After noting they were Roqueforts, and smelled bad as a result, the group headed in the opposite direction, eventually finding mammyth tracks. They followed the tracks until they reached a cold sea. On the beach they encountered a Walrus and a Carpenter. TP/PT, who knew that the Walrus was named Paul, greeted them, and told them he and his friends were searching for a mammyth. He also asked if either had seen Dave. The Carpenter quickly said, "Dave's not here." Paul the Walrus interrupted him, pointing the group towards a series of small rises, suggesting a mammyth might be in direction.

After traveling over several small rises, the group spied the mammyth, but then promptly vanished, as the mammyth was a Boojum.

Literary comment

The three questers are closely modeled on television characters from Sesame Street. Tundra Dawn is modeled on Prairie Dawn, Cleveland on Grover, and TP/PT on Big Bird.

Tundras and Prairies are both types of biomes.

Tremendous is another meaning for big or large while a Ptarmigan is a species of bird.

Cleveland's name is a reference to Grover Cleveland, the 22nd and 24th President of the United States who served from 1885-1889 and 1893-1897, the only POTUS so far to serve nonconsecutive terms.

Gate Guard

A guard at the gates of Metropolis challenged Tundra Dawn, Cleveland, and Tremendous Ptarmigan when they arrived. When Cleveland began to tell the guard that they were hunting the mammyth, Tundra stamped his foot in order to shut him up, and told the guard "We want talk to the King, man."

The guard helpfully directed the three to the subway, which was called "the Metro". When Tremendous Ptarmigan (not a bright bird) asked the guard why it was called that, the guard (also not bright) said he didn't know as he let them pass.

Metro Troll

One of the trolls who pulled the Metro in Metropolis demanded Tundra Dawn, Cleveland, and Tremendous Ptarmigan pay a toll. Tundra was initially hesitant to pay, not believing that it was a troll road. When she paid, the troll called her a meat lady. As Tundra and Cleveland were both puppets, this was quite an insult.

Metrognome

The Metrognome was the ticket-taker in the Metro of the city of Metropolis. He was a short, squat, bearded person with a bad case of stocking cap. He had a tic where he twitched every so often.

The Walrus and the Carpenter

John Tenniel's illustration of "The Walrus and the Carpenter" in Through the Looking Glass, the sequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.

A Walrus named Paul and a Carpenter were walking on the beach when they encountered Tundra Dawn. Cleveland, and Tremendous Ptarmigan. Tremendous Ptarmigan greeted them, and told them he and his friends were searching for a mammyth. He also asked if either had seen Dave. The Carpenter quickly said, "Dave's not here." Paul the Walrus interrupted the Carpenter, pointing the group towards a series of small rises, suggesting a mammyth might be in direction.

Literary comment

The Walrus and Carpenter originate in Lewis Carroll's poem.

King Wolcott

King Wolcott (who didn't like his name, and simply preferred to be called "king") ruled a kingdom on the tundra. His palace was in the capital city Metropolis. Because he was in a fantasy story, three adventurers, Tundra Dawn, Cleveland, and Tremendous Ptarmigan, were immediately brought before Wolcott, even though it wasn't realistic.

After looking them over, Wolcott asked them why they were there. Cleveland explained they were hunting for mammyths before Tundra could stop him. Then TP/PT asked to used the big bird's room. After getting directions, he left the throne room, and the others were forced to make small talk with the king for half an hour. When TP/PT returned, Wolcott, wanting to be rid of them, asked how he could help. After some dickering, Wolcott agreed to provide them with food, horses, and even some cash. They were soon on their way.