Giuseppe (Under St. Peter's)

Giuseppe was a deacon in St. Peter's Basilica. He was also a member of the Order of the Pipistrelle, secret group with the Catholic Church which kept an even greater secret: that Jesus had been transformed into a vampire shortly after he was crucified, and had been imprisoned in St. Peter's. Giuseppe escorted the newly-ascended Pope Benedict XVI to Jesus, who then fed upon Benedict's blood, a tradition since St. Peter. Giuseppe took special precautions, including eating a substantial amount of garlic to prevent Jesus from killing Benedict XVI.